fight pornography

10 Ways to Fight Pornography

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A recent study asked a group of kids how often their peers look at porn online. They responded that it was often. The study also asked what parental controls were in place on their devices, and almost all said none — because their parents trusted them. These parents have no idea what their children are seeing.

Why are controls so critical? First, the average age of a child’s first exposure to pornography is 11. So if that’s the average, some children are seeing it much earlier. Furthermore, research is beginning to give us the full, frightening picture of what porn does to a brain and to a life. Much like substance abuse, it alters the brain, creating a need for a level of stimulation that a healthy, marital sex life doesn’t always provide. It sets our children up to have a distorted view of sex and suffer from a desire that can’t be satisfied.

Why are so many dads turning a blind eye to this problem? Is it because they don’t think it’s a problem? Is it because of their own porn use? Maybe they feel hypocritical setting up boundaries for their kids that they themselves can’t hold. If this is you, we want you to know that it’s not too late to protect your children, and there is hope for you too. Here are 10 ways to fight pornography:

1. Admit you have a problem.

We live in a world that wants us to make allowance for justifying and tolerating almost every off-color thing we could think of. One of the best things you can do for yourself, your marriage and your children is to admit you have a problem with pornography.

2. Invite trusted friends to encourage you and hold you accountable.

We would also suggest bringing your wife in on your struggle. Voicing your struggle to others and admitting you have a problem is a huge step in the right direction.

3. Online accountability.

Use software to monitor your online activity. Covenant Eyes is a great resource for men. It allows you to receive your accountability partner’s reports weekly for the sites they visit and the searches they make. It lets you know when you need to follow up with each other on questionable activity. Finally, it allows you to celebrate with each other in putting online struggles to death.

4. Set boundaries with your mobile device.

Nowadays, our smartphones and tablets are even more of a gateway to pornography than a desktop computer. The same online accountability applies to your mobile device. Set boundaries and use software to monitor all online activity.

5. If you have offline pornography at your disposal, destroy it.

If you are wanting to fight your addiction to pornography but are hanging on to that magazine or DVD (in its secret hiding place) then your “fight” is really just a masquerade. Man up, and destroy those items. Right now.

6. Take all forms of media seriously.

Don’t think to yourself that TV shows or movies that emphasize sexual situations or portray women in the wrong light are harmless. Even if they are not considered “porn,” they are damaging. If you’re struggling with pornography, these types of entertainment will only make your struggle more difficult.

7. If you are married, take a step back and think on your marriage.

Are you satisfied and happy in your marriage? What’s awesome about your marriage? What is lacking? Are you content with the level of sexual intimacy within your marriage? These are great questions to ask yourself. They just might lead you to the root cause for your addiction.

8. Realize that you didn’t just become addicted to porn.

How you conduct yourself in public and where you look every day have greatly influenced where you find yourself today. That long stare at the passing woman, the double take at the lady you just walked by, the thoughts that come to mind when you see the magazines in the checkout lane at the grocery store… This is where the battle starts in the everyday scenarios and situations. Fight the good fight here too. Guard your eyes and guard your mind.

9. Take a second and think beyond the images or videos you’re looking at.

This is a person, a real woman, a human being created by God, just like you. She’s somebody’s daughter, sister, or even mother. Think of what her life must be like in front of the camera day after day – exploited and made insanely vulnerable. Chances are she is wrapped up in some kind of string of human sex trafficking and your addiction is helping to fund this multibillion-dollar business. She is not there for your enjoyment. She is being held captive and more than likely is crying out for help.

10. Your pornography addiction is a heart issue first and foremost. [Tweet This]

You are exchanging truth for a lie. You are voluntarily placing your affections on the cheap thrills that are ultimately fleeting and leave you feeling worthless. You were created for God, by God. Ask God to help you every time you are tempted.

Sound Off

Have you struggled with porn addiction?

  • Tom

    Thank you for the daily encouragement.

  • Joel Ishler

    I am living proof that nothing is impossible through faith in Christ. For more help on overcoming lust addiction, follow this link to my book…

  • Robbie Taggart

    Here is a great video to open the conversation about the dangers of pornography with younger children:

  • William Fairbanks

    Regardless of how hard I try and how hard I pray, I am drawn to pornography and images of nude women (God’s wonderful creation!). The intensity of the drive varies, but it’s always there, in part because we are surrounded by media content and the “one click” availability of unlimited free access to an incredible array of real people. I have tried virtually all of the internet filters and in most cases have creatively found my way around them as I have “tested their effectiveness.” In the end I’m convinced that the only way for me to manage pornography is to create barriers….. and have found two effective filtering strategies. For my computers I use Accountable2You ( and have my wife as my accountability partner. Making this decision was an act of courage but it has provided many benefits. The filter is very strict and send reports, literally instantly, to my wife whenever I even click on an article that has any sexual reference…..this strategy has virtually eliminated my computer access to pornography, sexual images, and articles….I simply don’t want to have the discussion with my wife on why I wanted to read that article! As to phones, Accountable2You works for Android operating systems, but it does NOT work for Apple IPhones because iPhone technology does not allow Accountable2You (and all other accountability software) to work unless you only use the Accountable2You search engine to access the internet. I can still click on Safari and go anywhere. The only method I have found that works well for iPhones is to use the very strong filtering system that is built into iPhones….go to Settings>General>Restrictions>Enable Restrictions>Set Passcode (have a friend or your wife set a 4 digit passcode that you DON”T know).>Reenter Restrictions Passcode> then you will see a menu of possible restrictions….go down to “Allowed Content” and for “Music and Podcasts”, disable Explicit, for “Movies”, don’t allow NC-17 or R, “TV Shows” don’t allow TV MA, “Books”, Disable Explicit Content, “Apps” – don’t allow apps 17+; “Siri” don’t allow Explicit Language, and finally and most importantly, for “Safari”, Limit Adult Content. Then you have a phone that works as a phone and allows VERY limited internet searches (even many hotels are blocked out). My view if you are willing to put up with the inconvenience of limited internet searches on your phone, you will have made HUGE progress in effectively managing your pornography access.

    • William, thanks for sharing some great tips on getting accountability with your Internet searches. Fighting urges like these have always been hard, but with technology these days, temptations for all ages and genders have increased exponentially. We can access anything we desire at a touch of our fingers. Building in accountability is a great way to help fight that temptation, because as you discovered, attempting to block ourselves on our own, simply doesn’t cut it. It’s too easy to justify circumventing it. There is a great book that I have used to counsel others with (recommended by my pastor), titled, “Sex is not the problem, lust is.” You might also want to take a look at that. It’s a great study to help identify and overcome temptations like pornography and lust. I will pray for you this week, that God will help you to overcome these temptations. God bless.

      • William Fairbanks

        Thanks Brian! Blessing to you!

  • David Ellington

    Outskirts Press, Inc. has published Rescued: Getting Help Before You Go All The Way Under by David Michael Ellington, which is the author’s most recent book to date. It is available worldwide on book retailer websites such as Amazon and Barnes & Noble for a suggested retail price of $11.95. For additional information you can go to the author’s webpage at

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Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Do you know what pornography is? Have you ever seen any?”

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