I came home exhausted and fell onto my bed. A broken foot and three weeks on crutches were taking their toll. It was my junior year in high school, the most important academic year. I had always been a good student and an athlete. Now I was neither. I broke my foot in a soccer game, ending my season. The loss and disappointment were emotionally exhausting, while the crutches were physically exhausting. When I started struggling in all of my classes, I declined. Devoid of energy and thoroughly depressed, I couldn’t find a way out of the hole I was in. I felt lost.
Feeling lost is scary no matter the person, but it is particularly daunting for a kid. In moments like this, the love of a father can do a lot to help kids find their way. Here are 3 things to do when your kid feels lost.
1. Be stable and calm.
For a kid who feels lost, everything seems unstable and chaotic. What kids need most when they’re feeling lost is a stabilizing force around them. Isaiah 33:6 speaks of what God is like during turbulent seasons. It says, “He will be a sure foundation.” God is someone solid to depend on when all seems lost. You may need to rely on Him to strengthen you so your kid can rely on you. Ask God to help you be a source of stability and calm for your child.
2. Sit with your kid.
If you’re anything like me, your first instinct will be to attempt to fix the problem. Perhaps shove a silver lining or hope in your kid’s face. Don’t get me wrong; kids do need hope. But the first thing they need is someone to sit with them in their pain and difficulty. This is not something easily fixed with an inspiring word. It’s going to take empathy and understanding. They need to know they aren’t alone. That’s the problem with the quick word of wisdom; it makes kids feel like a problem to be solved instead of a person to be loved. So, do the hard thing. Sit in the pain. Endure it so he knows he can endure. Give her a long hug so she knows she’s not alone.
3. Reassure him or her.
Finally, when you have thoroughly done the other two, give your kid reassurance. You’ll probably be able to sense when he’s ready to hear it. He’ll give you an opening by asking a question or saying something that shows he’s ready to hope. Look for it. Then let him know he’ll be OK. He won’t feel lost forever, and even when he feels that way, God is there.
Jesus gives a picture of God as a shepherd in Luke 15:4–6, a shepherd willing to leave 99 sheep to go searching for one that’s lost. And when He finds the lost, He joyfully celebrates. God cares for the lost, seeks after them with his whole heart. Remind your kids they mean that much to God, and so, they’re never alone.
Sound off: Have you struggled with feeling lost? What did you need most?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “If there were one thing you wished were different right now, what would it be?”