My wife has made plenty of sacrifices for me. She supported me throughout my entire 16-year NFL career. I lived my dream of playing professional sports, and I wouldn’t have been able to do it without her. In a stadium full of rowdy fans, her voice always felt the loudest. It wasn’t always easy for her, and my leaving for training camp was definitely hard. But she chose to cheer instead of complain.
I have always made it my goal to be a supportive husband and cheer just as loudly for her. So, when Kirsten got the author copies of her first book, I was front row for the big unboxing. I gathered the kids around for the moment she held that first copy of Sis, Take A Breath. It was important for me to show her, and my kids, that her accomplishment mattered to me. Our wives should have no doubt that we are their biggest cheerleaders. Here are 4 ways to be the supportive husband your wife desires.
1. Make her feel seen.
Wives are invaluable but don’t often feel that way. They often carry an invisible load, especially mothers. They feel the weight of marriage, family, work, and relationships. They do so much, but don’t always get the praise they deserve. No matter how skilled she is at juggling it all, she needs a supportive husband. Make the effort to acknowledge your wife’s talents, skills, and accomplishments every day. She’s worth it.
If you are busy celebrating your wife, your kids will take notice.2. Make the kids see her.
If I simply stood next to Kirsten as she opened the box of those freshly printed books, it would have been enough for her. But it would not have been enough for me. That’s why I called my kids over. I went wild and so did they. Watching their mom tear up as she ran her fingers over the cover and flipped through the pages for the first time was special. We all celebrated her because we all care about Kirsten and her accomplishments. There is no such thing as part-time family. We are all-in. If you are busy celebrating your wife, your kids will take notice.
3. Support her through low moments.
I won a Super Bowl with the New England Patriots as a rookie in 2004. My wife was there cheering among the team’s fans. When I got hurt in 2016 and lost an entire season to an Achilles injury, only a few voices were still there cheering me back to recovery. Hers was one of them. I noticed that and made it a point to cheer her on, too, during her low points in marriage, motherhood, and any other challenge. People can be lifted the most when they are feeling the furthest down.
4. Celebrate her journey.
I played football in New England, where the Boston Marathon is a huge annual event. I noticed while living there how many people lined the course to cheer on the runners who were still miles from the finish line. Supportive husbands can take the same approach with their wives.
I watched my wife author a book, which is incredible because I found one stat saying only 3% of people who start writing a book ever finish it. Kirsten worked hard to complete hers, and that hard work should be recognized. We obviously celebrated the finish line, but getting there is worthy of praise, too. Just like in a marathon, mile 14 is just as important as mile 26. I encouraged her through writer’s block and reminded her she is a skilled and talented wordsmith. I hope those words helped her to the finish line.
Sound off: What are some ways you can encourage your wife during her high and low points?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What could we do to help your mom have a great day?”