I lived in Oklahoma for the first three years of my marriage. Before that, I spent almost my entire life in Florida, so freezing winters were new to me, and I wasn’t a fan. I found out my car didn’t really like chilly mornings either and needed time to warm up properly. My bride, also a Floridian, and I learned this lesson together, and then we applied that lesson to sex. You can apply it, too, if you’d like your wife to be a sexually confident woman.
My wife’s love language is words of affirmation, so she needs to hear she’s loved before she can feel loved. I didn’t understand this at first, so I didn’t tell her anything that would build her sexual confidence. Because of this, I wasn’t warming her up for sex, and we didn’t connect easily. My wife lost a little of her confidence because I wasn’t bothering to instill any. What we choose to share with our wives can positively shape their sexual confidence, and a confident spouse is the sexiest spouse. If she needs a boost in the bedroom, here are 4 things to say to ensure your wife feels like a sexually confident woman.
1. “I’m not going anywhere.”
Commitment instills confidence. I have been married for nearly 14 years, and my wife knows I plan to spend 50 more by her side. Marriage, by definition, should provide your wife with a sense of confidence, but if your wife’s love language is words of affirmation, she may need to hear that “I’m not going anywhere.” When she has no reason to doubt that the two of you are in it for the long haul, you will enjoy more intimacy.
2. “I love all of you.”
One of the first things I noticed about my wife were her attractive eyes. Physical connection is a necessary component to building sexual confidence, but I desire to gel with my wife on a far deeper level than simply physical. Sex is an emotional and spiritual act, too. If you want a sexually confident woman, remind her that you are into more than just her body. Identify her attractive non-physical traits, like her integrity, strength, and character, and then share how much you admire those things. Your wife will want to give all of herself to you when she understands you care about all of her.
Your wife will want to give all of herself to you when she understands you care about all of her.3. “Your happiness matters to me.”
We live in a very selfish society. We build social media pages to showcase all things “me.” But marriage is about “us.” It’s about successfully sharing a life with another person. Your wife’s sexual happiness matters, so acknowledge and prioritize her. This could take some work on your part, especially if you’re used to getting your way in the bedroom. Ask her what makes her feel loved. How does she like to be spoken to? What does she dislike? Putting in the effort to make sure your wife’s happiness is recognized and valued will result in a sexually confident woman.
4. “Your desires matter to me.”
There is this macho idea that men are sex starved and need action every night. But, honestly, some days we’re too tired or cranky from work and just not in the mood. That’s fine unless your wife needs that kind of connection. It’s important to me that my wife knows I’m not a selfish partner. Her desires matter just as much to her on days she’s interested in sex as my desires matter to me on days I’m in the mood. Putting her needs ahead of your own shows your wife you care about her desires. Telling her will give her a major confidence boost.
Sound off: What can you do today to help build your wife’s sexual confidence?
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What can I do to help you feel sexy?”