goals-for-kids

5 Goals Our Kids Should Stop Chasing

Before I started writing for All Pro Dad and helping with the podcast, I spent many years working in local television news. I was a sports and feature reporter, covering exciting events like the Super Bowl, NCAA Tournament, and more. I got pretty good at it and was encouraged by a veteran colleague to enter a few of my higher-quality stories for awards. By the time I left the business, I’d won multiple Associated Press and Emmy Awards. I was grateful to win them but noticed a change in my attitude. I’d begun to chase recognition. Doing the job well wasn’t enough anymore. It was replaced with a desire to stack more trophies for my mantle.

I was chasing all the wrong goals, and I don’t want my kids to make similar mistakes. Now is the best time to teach them which goals are worth chasing and which are not. Even if you’re still trying to figure it all out yourself, leaving our kids to get it right on their own isn’t a great strategy. You may prevent future heartache by talking through their pursuits today. Here are 5 goals our kids should stop chasing.

1. Piles of Money

away as possible. But most people who aspire to Scrooge McDuck level money aren’t looking to distribute it. They want to hoard as much as possible, usually thinking having more of it means their problems will disappear. That rarely happens. Teach your kids that money is a tool for blessing, but it can also easily corrupt them. 1 Timothy 6:10 says, “The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil.” When we accumulate it in hopes of gaining status, material things, or just to flaunt, that’s when we’ve gone astray. Chasing money is not a good goal for kids, unless they want to bless others with it.

2. Fame

When asked in a 2019 Harris poll about their top career interest, nearly 30% of the kids aged 8–12 listed “YouTuber.” Why? I speculate it’s because it would get more eyes on them and achieve a certain level of “fame.” Every like and new subscriber is a tiny hit of dopamine, and kids crave that. But, Matthew 6:21 warns that “where your treasure is, your heart will be also.” If you’re treasuring being famous or liked, affirmed, and admired by others, sometimes even by complete strangers online, that’s problematic. It hasn’t satisfied people who achieved it, like Justin Bieber, who once said in an interview, “This life can rip you apart.” Fulfillment doesn’t come from fame but rather from understanding that you are valuable because God made you and loves you.

3. The “Ideal” Appearance

Boys tend to want big muscles. Girls, a tiny waist. Kids buy into the trap that if you just look, act, dress, or sound a certain way, you’ll be considered cool and attractive. If your kids desire to bulk up or wear more makeup, ask them why. For vanity? To fit in? Remind them there is no “ideal” way to look. I believe we are called to take care of the body God has given us. That includes our heart and mind. Kids honor their bodies by aspiring to make them as healthy as possible and realizing none of them look the same by design.

4. Sex

Dating is part of growing up, and for many that includes pressure to have sex. It’s easy to make having sex a goal in young relationships, especially since movies, music, and pop culture portray sex as an easy, consequence-free physical activity. As parents, it’s our job to explain to kids that sex isn’t some casual goal to chase, but something special reserved for people in marriage. Doing it for the wrong reasons, like physical gratification, fitting in, or to meet some cultural expectation will leave them unfulfilled and possibly hurt.

5. Perfection

Around 60 percent of teens feel the pressure to look perfect, according to a YMCA study. Social media filters on platforms like Snapchat and Instagram makes that unattainable goal seem attainable. But perfection shouldn’t be on any list of goals for kids. The pressure to have everything look just right is real. Kids want perfect grades, friends, appearance, image, and more. The truth is, they can’t be perfect. Nobody can. And that’s OK. Admitting our faults, forgiving others, striving to care for others no matter what they think of us is the mark of a mature person.
Sound off: Have you ever achieved a goal only to realize it wasn’t what you expected?

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What do you think are worthwhile goals for kids?”