husbands and wives

5 Things Wives Wish Husbands Knew

I recently wrote a post called 5 Things Husbands Wish Wives Knew. Today I want to cover the wives’ perspective—what wives wish their husbands knew. Knowing these should help husbands and wives relate better.

In writing this post, I had to get some wise counsel from my wife, Susan, and several other ladies on our Family First team to ensure that I was representing the girls well. Here are 5 things wives wish husbands knew:

1. Wives desire appreciation.

Bottom line: don’t ever take her for granted. Sometimes, it seems like wives are the hardest working people on the planet. But do we tell them? I addressed this in my blog, 10 Things Wives Want to Hear from Their Husbands. It is our privilege to be the recipient of much of their work and it is our job to thank them for all the things they do—whether it’s making dinner, cleaning the house, or working hard to support our family. Expressing your appreciation will encourage and motivate her in a big way. Bottom line: don’t ever take her for granted. Be her biggest fan!

2. Wives desire attention.

When you get home from a long day at work, don’t always go straight for the TV or your phone. Ask your wife about her day and then tell her what your day was like. Listen with empathy and don’t make light of what she’s saying. The first ten minutes when you walk in the door sets the tone for the evening. By giving her your full attention, it shows that you truly respect and care for her.

3. Wives desire affection.

All women crave affection, no matter how long they’ve been married. They want to hold your hand, to be told they’re beautiful, and to be kissed tenderly. My wife has flat out asked me to be gentle. My bear hug only works occasionally. She wants tender affection. Because ultimately, physical affection reinforces that you’re still in love with her even after years of marriage together.

4. Wives desire patience.

After getting input from some of the married ladies in the office in writing this blog, I found out that I am not the only husband that struggles with being impatient. Over the years, I’ve been learning How to Practice Patience and will continue to work on this virtue for the rest of my life. Men, I encourage you to talk calmly and patiently through issues with our wife. If you don’t, you will be in constant conflict; or worse, she may even shut down. When a disagreement escalates, you may want to agree to reconvene later after you both cool off. If your lack of patience is turning into anger, you may want to read 3 Ways to Get to the Root of Anger.

5. Wives desire friendship.

Your wife desires a companion—someone to turn to when frustrating circumstances arise at work or when the kids are out of control. It’s important to be a man who will listen to her share her difficulties and then comfort and help see her through the trials. By the way, friendship goes both ways. Your wife also wants you to trust her with your thoughts, feelings, and challenges in life.

Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What is one thing you wished I knew?”