I don’t get angry often, but my kids were around the last time I blew up. We were walking in the parking lot after grabbing dessert when I saw a bunch of teens standing by our car. They didn’t care that we were there and were saying every foul word they could mutter. In a moment of righteous anger, I out of nowhere and uncharacteristically yelled at the teens to watch their language around my little kids. They sneered at me and walked away. It startled my kids, and the car ride home was a quiet one.
I could have handled it differently, I admit it. But the thing is, I hate when people curse around my kids. I think it’s wrong, and when I expressed that, I made a poor choice. I shouldn’t have yelled, but I don’t apologize for not wanting that kind of language spoken in front of my family. There is a place in the world for righteous anger, and I want my kids to know that. Should I have handled myself better in the parking lot? Yes. But I won’t teach my kids all hate is wrong. Here are 7 things we should teach our kids to hate.
1. Evil
There is nothing redeeming about evil. It’s contrary to anything good, pleasing, and perfect, which is why it’s rightfully hated. Kids should not embrace evil in any form—bullying, drugs, racism, porn, self-harm, murder, terrorism. The list is long, and each item on it harms everyone it touches in some way. Kids should hate it because it’s not only harmful but deceptively appealing. Evils like the ones I listed are often glorified in popular culture, making it seem “cool,” but there is nothing about it worth embracing. Amos 5:15 gives clear guidance on this topic, saying “Hate evil, and love good, and establish justice in the gate.” Encourage your kids to run away from what is evil. Teach them what’s good and evil so they can begin to hate what’s evil.
2. Injustice
My kindergartener is VERY into fairness. If her brother gets five M&Ms and she only gets four, you’ll hear about it. Her radar is always searching for injustice, and I think that’s actually a good thing. Candy is a small thing, but real injustice exists around our kids. When someone is treated poorly or unfairly, it means one person thrives at another’s expense. Injustice strays from what’s fair and right, putting everything out of rhythm. I think back to the Old Testament story of Moses who recognized when a Jewish slave was being unjustly beaten and intervened. If we desire kindness and fairness, then we should hate injustice.
3. Division
I remember having a conversation with a local politician about public speaking. “It’s gotten to the point,” he said, “where if I say I like dogs, the cat people will call my office to complain.” The world is so polarized. It seems like we’re just looking for reasons, big or small, to split or argue. But, division has consequences. It fosters a “me versus you mentality,” which rarely results in harmony. Romans 12:16 asks us to “live in harmony with one another,” which is tough to do when we’re looking to pick fights. I want my kids to have righteous anger about the things that drive us apart.
4. Divorce
In the United States, a couple gets married every 16 seconds. But sadly, a marriage also ends every 42 seconds. Divorce is tough on everyone, including kids. We should hate seeing families ripped apart. Malachi 2:16 says that God “hates” divorce, so I think we should too. Now, we totally get that there are legitimate reasons for divorce. But in most cases, we need to try our best to reconcile our differences. Seek professional help if needed. It’s worth it. Trust me, as a kid who grew up in a single-parent household for a while, I can say that not having a dad around sucks. There was an ever-present sadness because someone was missing. Dad, you are vital to the nurturing and encouragement of your kids. So, work with all your might to keep your family together. The best way to protect your kids is to protect your marriage.
5. Jealousy
Anything that invites comparison, stunts self-esteem, and increases resentment is worthy of some righteous anger. Jealousy does all that and more. Living with a jealous heart makes us wish we were someone else, had what they had, or lived like they lived. Jealousy negatively impacts our behavior, judgement, disposition, and attitude. It’s hard to be jealous when you’re busy counting your own blessings, so teach your children to find contentment in all situations.
6. Pride
I love the lesson from Proverbs 8:13, which says “To fear the LORD is to hate evil; I hate pride and arrogance, evil behavior and perverse speech.” Pride is something I think most people deal with at some point, but it never leads to anything healthy. It is the root of arrogance, self-righteousness, and ego—all things we should hate.
7. Complacency
My high school basketball team went undefeated when I was a freshman, but that didn’t mean we’d win every game as sophomores. I remember the coaches telling us that we couldn’t become complacent if we wanted to keep succeeding. Complacency leads kids down a path they don’t want to go. It will bring apathy, minimal effort, and hinder your chances to reach your full potential. I think we owe it to ourselves, our families, and to God to give full effort in everything.
Sound off: Which “evil” do you struggle with most as a dad?
For a deeper discussion about this subject, check out this All Pro Dad podcast episode:
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Is it ever OK to hate something? When?”