sons girlfriend

How to Build a Relationship with Your Son’s Girlfriend

When your son starts to date, there are several important reasons why it is important to build a relationship with your son’s girlfriend sooner than later. She needs to know you care about her and the relationship, and you need to give a good example for your son.

However, it can feel awkward getting to know your son’s girlfriend. But there some important tips for how to do that, which will make it easier. Here are 7 ways to build a relationship with your son’s girlfriend.

1. Share a meal.

Invite her over for dinner with your family. Find out what kind of food she likes ahead of time and prepare something she’ll enjoy, that would perhaps put her more at ease. Time around the dinner table is healthy for relationship building in most families and this will be no exception.

2. Have a game night together.

Ask most families what their most or least favorite games are to play together and you’ll learn a lot about them quickly. Games can be very revealing about a person’s intensity, competitiveness, character, and people skills. It’s best to pick games that move at a leisurely pace so that conversation is encouraged.

3. Get together with her parents.

This might be more appropriate if you have older teens or college-age kids. Getting together with her parents will give you a lot of insights about her and give you the opportunity to share insights about your son that her parents will appreciate as well.

4. Plan a special surprise together.

If your son has a birthday, milestone, or accomplishment coming up, involve her in the planning. This will give you some time to get to know her better.

5. Get involved in her activities.

Maybe she’s into sports, dance, music, or art. Let your son know you’d like to find out when her activities happen. If they involve an audience or spectators, take the time to go with or without your son to see her in that environment and support her. It likely will mean a lot to her and to him, if their relationship is a healthy one.

6. Offer your contact info.

She doesn’t need to feel like she’s part of the family, but she should feel welcomed. When giving her your contact information, let her know what the boundaries are. Are you willing to have her call you if she has problems inside or outside of the dating relationship with your son? What if she’s in an emergency situation and can’t reach her family? Have you grown comfortable enough with her that you’d like to simply offer a listening ear? Whatever the case may be, making yourself available is a good step in building a relationship with her.

7. Pray for her.

You may not be her biggest fan. Or you may think she’s one of the best things to happen to your son. Either way, ask God to give you wisdom, patience, courage, and grace to know how to handle the relationship with your son and his girlfriend. You might even let her know you pray for her. That may provide some interesting insights, too.

The girlfriends of my sons have all been great. They both made smart decisions. If you are worried about your son’s dating choices, talk to him. Use 5 Types of Girls I Don’t Want My Son Dating to help start the conversation.

Earn some points: Are you married? If so, recommend this iMOM article for your wife: 5 Rules for Dating My Son.

Sound off: Are there some other ways to help build an appropriate and helpful relationship with your son’s girlfriend? 

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What do you look for in a friend (or a boyfriend/girlfriend)?”