With popcorn in hand, I handed our movie tickets to the clerk. He tore them up and directed my wife and me to the theater. Arms interlocked, we bumped into a female colleague of mine. I was genuinely happy to see her and made some corny joke about us ending up in the same theater. My wife dropped my hand and took her seat. I had not introduced her, which made her feel unvalued on our date night.
We don’t always mean to do it, but many husbands do things that leave our wives wondering how we truly feel about them. But there are some things we can do to show them we are not going anywhere. Here are 5 ways to make your wife feel secure.
1. Always introduce her at events.
Your wife is a VIP at every party you attend. You get the privilege of attending this event with the queen. If you adopt this mindset, you will never forget to introduce her to colleagues or friends. If you don’t introduce her, it may make her think you are ashamed of her, or at least that she’s not important enough to you to mention. Make a habit of showing her off and getting conversations started with people she may not know.
2. Never lie to her.
What’s wrong with a little white lie? Everything. Lying adds up, and even if you think your lies won’t hurt her, you’ll be wrong in the long run. Many men feel compelled to lie when their wives ask one of the traditional “trap” questions, such as “does this dress make me look fat?” What I learned is that you never answer yes, but you don’t have to lie. Be honest by saying, “I don’t think that outfit emphasizes your best features. I think this other outfit does.”
3. Always ask for her opinion and advice.
My wife likes to know her voice is heard. When I make decisions without her, our relationship falls apart. She doesn’t feel included, and therefore, she feels devalued. Take her view into consideration when making those decisions, even small ones. One year, I won an award at my job and received a check for a thousand dollars. I remember how valued my wife felt when I asked her how to spend the money instead of just deciding for myself. Her opinion matters; don’t dismiss it.You must become the husband you promised you would be on your wedding day.
4. Defend her.
Men are called to defend their wives physically, emotionally, and spiritually. When your brother is rude to her, you must speak up. If your daughter is angry about “Mom’s rules,” you step in and say they’re your rules as well. Defending her is not about seeing her as weak but protecting her dignity, fulfilling your responsibility as her husband. You must become the husband you promised you would be on your wedding day. Your wife will feel secure, knowing she has a husband who fights for her, even in the small things.
5. Get her involved in the fun.
Dads come up with a lot of games on the fly. In our family, I declared August 31st “Shoulder Day,” a day our kids are allowed to travel on our shoulders all day. Why? Because I’m a dad. But it would be best to get your wife involved with those games, activities, and traditions. Not only will your kids see her as somebody other than a rule-maker, but getting her involved in the fun strengthens her bond with you and the family, making her feel more secure.
Sound off: In what other ways do you make your wife feel secure in your marriage?
Huddle Up Question
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “How can we show Mom we love her today?”