I used to have excellent patience. As my kids get older, though, I feel as though my patience has thinned tremendously. The other night, I lost my temper because my daughters were laughing too hard. Reality sank in when my daughter exclaimed, “We were just laughing! Why are you mad at us for having fun?”
When my mind gets cluttered, it gets harder for me to focus and easier for me to be distracted and frustrated. That is why it is so important to take a step back now and then and give our minds a little exercise. Just like physical exercise keeps our bodies in shape, mental exercises can help keep our minds strong, flexible, and resilient. Here are 3 mental exercises to add to your daily routine.
1. Think about other people.
One simple but powerful exercise is to consciously shift your perspective and consider the experiences of others. Take a few minutes each day to truly imagine yourself in someone else’s shoes. What might their daily life be like? What kinds of struggles or challenges might they be facing that you can’t even see? Doing this cultivates empathy, compassion, and a much-needed broader worldview, reminding you that everyone is dealing with their own battles. It’s also important to know that you are not alone.
2. Replace “I have to” with “I get to.”
Sometimes fathers believe we must do it all, and it can sometimes feel overwhelming and thankless. That’s why I love the mental exercise of replacing “I have to” with “I get to” in your inner monologue. Instead of thinking “I have to go to work today” or “I have to do the dishes again,” reframe it as “I get to go to work and provide for my family” or “I get to clean up after a great meal with my wife.” It’s a simple shift in phrasing, but it can completely change your mindset from one of burden and negativity to one of gratitude and positive perspective.
3. Sit in silence.
Author Matthew Kelly suggests that each of us should spend time in what he calls the “classroom of silence.” I’ve found this practice of sitting in silence to be incredibly grounding. Set aside just 5 to 10 minutes per day to simply be—without phones, TV, music or other distractions. Use this time to think, pray, breathe, and listen. Don’t judge your thoughts; just let them come and go. This mental exercise is like a reset button, reducing stress and improving focus while cultivating mindfulness. You’ll be amazed at how clear and refreshed you feel afterward.
Sound off: What are some other mental exercises you could add to this list?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What are some things that are fun to think about?”