Five of the best years of my childhood were spent in a Norman Rockwell-style town in Connecticut. It was a safe place filled with kind people. There were certainly good days and bad days, but overall, I can’t remember one person I didn’t get along with. I also can’t remember any major difficulties. When I was 11 years old, we moved—and that’s when everything changed. Life in my new town was riddled with hardship and relational pain.
Years later, I was talking to my mom about it, and she said something surprising: “It was good for you.” After thinking about it, I agree with her, because overcoming challenges makes us stronger. At the time, I would have given anything to return to my idyllic life in Connecticut. Unfortunately, I think we do the same thing as parents. There are things we try to eliminate from our kids’ lives that are actually good for them. They may not enjoy these things, but the result of going through them is something positive. Here are 5 surprising things that are good for kids.
1. Sadness/Broken Heartedness
When I was young, I heard a dad say he hoped his daughter experienced a broken heart. I didn’t understand it then, but I do now. Broken hearts help our kids form a deeper sense of empathy, thoughtfulness, humility, and understanding. It engrains in them the ability to connect with people in their suffering and extend grace and forgiveness when they’re wronged. The love they’ll have to give will be fuller, which will improve their relationships, and in turn, their life satisfaction.
2. Struggles
Our muscles grow because of resistance. In a weightless environment, our muscles would experience atrophy. The same is true of our mental and emotional maturity. In order to grow strong, we need to work through discomfort and barriers. Facing and overcoming challenges builds kids’ perseverance making them more resolute. And one day, they’ll be able to handle any difficulty. As the Apostle Paul says in 2 Corinthians 4:8–9, “We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.”
3. Boredom
If there’s one thing I think kids have too much of today, it’s stimulation. If it isn’t screens, it’s the constant schedule full of one activity or another. There’s little opportunity to be bored. Boredom gives kids a chance to be creative, problem solve, or just sit in quiet reflection. It gives their brains a chance to reset and build their attention spans.
4. Waiting
I love how convenient everything is today. Answers are one click away, you can order products online instead of leaving your house, and you can despot checks from your phone. Remember how awful it was when our parents dragged us to the bank when we were kids? But with all the convenience, our kids are missing the opportunity to wait. Waiting helps us deal with delayed gratification and improves our patience and emotional regulation.
5. Failure
As I evaluate myself, any character I have was either created or bolstered in my failures as opposed to in to my wins. Failure establishes humility, encourages perseverance, and is the best learning opportunity. Failure makes us go back to the drawing board, study more, train harder, and come up with more creative solutions. We get stronger and smarter. More than anything, we learn about ourselves, our natural talents, our weaknesses, and our grit.
Sound off: How has overcoming challenges made you stronger?
Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What do you do to pass the time while you are waiting?”