dangers of pornography

4 Dangers of Pornography

There are some beautiful beaches in the world that have hidden dangers. When water floods sand below the surface, the sand particles get pushed apart. The result is a muddy mixture of the two that can’t support the weight of a person. When someone walks over it, they sink down. It’s a trap known as quicksand. As the person sinks down, it pushes the water out creating a vacuum effect that secures its victim tighter and tighter. Sometimes it only takes moments to absorb someone into a desperate situation.

This is what pornography does to millions every day. It starts simple enough without any sign of danger, a movie on cable or the click of the mouse. We tell ourselves there’s nothing wrong with it, or perhaps it’s not that bad, even though we keep it secret. Pretty soon what started as “controllable” and “here and there” turns into a habit, deeper and deeper. But the user is not the only one affected. The consequences for our society as a whole is alarming. Knowing the dangers and taking them seriously will allow us to avoid getting ensnared. The fate of the next generation depends on us. Here are 4 dangers of pornography.

1. Addiction

I have not talked to a single man who has watched porn habitually that said it was easy to stop. Even in spite of an intense desire to live porn free because of how it was affecting their lives in a negative way, every guy I’ve talked to has said it was a “struggle.” Many have not even been able to quit. They are slaves serving a master. This video explains how it happens.

2. Ruined Relationships

Intimate relationships demand an investment of time and energy. It involves sacrifice and vulnerability. All of those things are difficult. Porn is a cheap and quick way to avoid all of that in order to get a momentary rush of similar feelings that intimacy brings. The problem is that the desires that would be found in a relationship are replaced by porn. Sex becomes a selfish pursuit of recreating scenes from movies (if it doesn’t disappear altogether). The sexual relationship gets cheapened when connection ceases to be the goal. Couples drift apart, particularly as most of the viewing is done in secret. A 2003 poll of 350 attorneys specializing in divorce at the American Academy of Matrimony Lawyers revealed that a large amount of their divorce cases involved one person with compulsive porn use. It’s playing with fire.

3. Supporting Human Trafficking

Every click to a porn website contributes to destroying lives. [Tweet This] Even most of those who have willingly entered into the porn industry speak of being coerced to do hurtful things they never wanted to do. One of the most popular male porn stars of all time gave a personal account to the website Fight the New Drug. In it, he said, “I had to go to work so I could do the porn; so that I could buy the drugs to bury the pain from doing the porn; And around and around it went.” Even worse, porn fuels the demand for prostitution, many of whom are victims of human trafficking. In a 2003 study, 854 human traffic survivors were surveyed and it showed that 50% were forced to do pornography. The video below tells the story.

4. The Next Generation

Boys and girls are exposed to pornography early and get hooked. Finding a teenager who has not been exposed to porn is a nearly impossible task. They are being taught about sex and sexuality from what they see on the Internet and graphic video games. They play at being sexual by sending and posting naked pictures to one another and performing sex acts as early as age eleven. They do all of this without the brain development to understand the long-term consequences. It’s contributing to the destruction of a generation deficient in what it means to build intimacy.

The problem is us. Adults have told them what to be. Adults produce the material and market to kids. Adults have sexualized them and they are simply molding to the culture we have formed and approved. According to Homeland Security Investigations, child exploitation cases continue to jump higher and higher. Last year, the number one search term among porn was “teen.” That should shock our collective conscience, but I fear as a society we may have burned it away.

Sound Off

Has pornography affected your life?

BJ Foster

BJ Foster is the Director of Content Creation for All Pro Dad and a married father of two.

  • Barry Whitlow

    Nice job BJ, thanks for all of your hard work, stay the course! **On a tech note, personally I would no longer require people to “log in” (with Disgus or anything else) as it severely limits discussion. Michael Hyatt recently dropped using Disgus, and many others are doing the same. -Blessings!

    • BJ_Foster

      Thank you for the feedback and encouragement Barry!

  • Jackie

    My first marriage lasted 8 years and porn was a big reason we got a divorce. Men don’t understand what women think and how it makes them feel.

  • Bill Collins

    I watch it all the time (as do 90% of men, some percentage of time) and a growing percentage of women.
    The article is well written, but based on stereotypes of thought processes of the actors/viewers/naysayers, etc. and I get tired of “generalizations” of this type of thing. I have the same gut reaction with over generalizations of other vices, like smoking/drinking/etc…. I stop listening when “either” side start using blown out stats that don’t apply to majority.

    • Paul_Sp

      The percentage of how many do something has no bearing on the morality of it.
      How do you know they don’t apply to the majority, be they “stats” or concepts?
      I bet you stop listening when you feel like watching more porn.
      Hope you tell everyone you know that you (proudly?) watch it all of the time, just like you did us here. No shame, after all. Everyone’s doing it.

      • Bill Collins

        No, I stop listening on any topic, and any disagreement, when it goes as I described above. More a figure of speech, but hey, if you want to sit down and watch some porn because you’re in the mood, then go for it. I’m not stopping you.
        Hiding behind a fake, anonymous profile makes it easy to be snarky, and rude. I just let it roll of my shoulders, and am not afraid to be myself online, or in person. I rarely let anyone into my porn watching world, but again, if that’s your way of fishing for an invitation, let me know, and we can make a plan.
        Stating that a very high percentage of men (and women) are doing something isn’t dismissing the morality of it, that’s not what I meant. Believe me, I don’t use that logic. What I meant, is that I’m a bit of an expert on the topic, and I can state with certainty, that the percentage is much higher than realized, because of the humanistic response and natural instincts of most humans. When trying to assign some morals to it, you will fail, because natures takes her course, it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
        Last lesson Paul: when somebody performs some action, like posting openly on a wall, using their real name, and stating something that is typically seen as taboo, that’s a sign that they are not inhibited by their actions. Stating a shaming statement like “for everyone to see” or whatever, is misguided. I suggest opening up a psychology book or two, reading up on human behavior. I think you’ll learn, if you have an open mind about it. But based on your action above, I really don’t think you do.
        Lastly, trolling is worse than watching pornography. It really is.

        • Paul_Sp

          I agree that you’re demonstrating a lack of shame here, which is an appreciated measure of honesty, just hoping that you don’t hide your porn from anyone such as your parents, spouse, kids, coworkers, as you feel no shame for it.

          Hmm, declaring that we shouldn’t be ashamed of following any human instincts, after all, it’s natural, blame “nature”, whatever, could be used to justify a fair amount of sexual (and criminal sexual) behavior.
          Is there any sexual behavior we should be ashamed of then? And why if it’s “natural”?

          I’ve had plenty of psychology education and training, both in college and career; don’t assume what you don’t know. Many try to use it to justify positions that suit their fancy.

          How in blazes does this fit in here?: “Lastly, trolling is worse than watching pornography. It really is.”

          Besides not agreeing with you, is this code for don’t challenge what you post in any way?

          • Bill Collins

            Paul likes Bill? Bill is not interested. Sorry Paul.

          • Bill Collins

            I think any illegal, dangerous, or non-consenting sexual acivvity would be the ones to be careful with and ultimately avoid I wouldn’t delve into them.

            After obtaining my MBA I learned that so many others out there are smarter than me (and that’s something they teach you in Graduate school) I may offer suggestions, but It is NEVER because I assume I’m more intelligent.

            Psychology includes “humanistic behavior” which is applicable here. I don’t mind being challenged. I do mind trolling and anon profiles

          • Paul_Sp

            Whoa, wait….
            What about human nature and instinct? Passion needs and wants? Why should those be constrained by law or assessed “danger”?
            Illegal is ultimately based on opinions too.

            Can’t get your big concern for “trolls” or anon? Aren’t they still people? I suppose if the didn’t appear sincerely interested in the topic, but otherwise, lots of types out there.

          • Bill Collins

            Bill likes this too.

          • Paul_Sp

            Me too, but would like it more if you’d address what I asked here.

        • Jim Hawkins

          Trolling – “make a deliberately offensive or provocative online posting with the aim of upsetting someone or eliciting an angry response from them”. Isnt this exactly what you are doing? I think we got that you dont agree that Porn is a bad thing, that there is objective morality which should serve as a measure for people to restrain “animal nature”, and that you stop listening when people make generalizations (which you also employ liberally).

          If being open-minded is just a euphemism for licentiousness then there is little value in it. Yes there are many things that are in a human’s base nature, it doesnt mean we should not aspire to do better. There is much that is debasing in the porn world which in my view is more correctly described as prostitution and it is not victimless regardless of how one would like to generalize that it is.

          One thing that you may want to be open-minded about is the possibility that there is objective right and wrong supplied by a moral law giver. the post discusses that there may be very real consequences to porn use. There is rather good data to support these observations from reputable scientist.

          • Bill Collins

            Good post, I would add trolling also includes using an anon profile, which is one of my pet peeves, and shuts down, as soon as the anon person starts making rude and divisive comments back to me. Not you, but him, Paul.

          • Paul_Sp

            You can add whatever you want, Bill. Just like on the main topic here, none of us can dictate what others gets to do or say here.
            Neither of us owes the other a promise not to cross their pet peeves.
            Rude and divisive comments to you? Cite them please, specifically.
            Seems like you’d rather deflect on profiles and whether you were trolled (gasp!) and avoid questions on the topic.

          • Bill Collins

            Bill likes this……

        • rasseng

          Seems to me that the ones that don’t like what you have to say, your opinion, always start hollering “Trolling”? How is stating ones opinions on something, trolling? How is stating ones opinion, making a “deliberately offensive” posting? If it offends somebody, its on them, but I don’t see anything you posted that is deliberately offensive toward anyone and trying to make anyone angry? Why is it that when someone tries to have a logical discussion about something, with a differing view or opinion on a topic, the others involved claim they are trolling? I agree with Bill, when someone doesn’t use their own identity, when posting things, I call that trolling. People shouldn’t be afraid to voice their opinions, by using a fake profile, because they are afraid of the Bullies and Harassment from others. People should be able to voice their views freely, without being harassed by others!

          • Paul_Sp

            I’m not sure who’s confused on this, you or me, but I AGREE 100% when you say,
            “How is stating ones opinions on something, trolling? How is stating ones opinion, making a “deliberately offensive” posting? Why is it that when someone tries to have a logical discussion about
            something, with a differing view or opinion on a topic, the others involved claim they are trolling?”

            It was Bill who accused me of trolling, not vice versa!

            And I wasn’t “offended” by anything, just didn’t agree with his view and wanted to dialogue with him on it. No harm, no foul. Bill briefly did, then decided on the “trolling” accusation, then got silly and sophomoric altogether, his comments being deleted.

            I’m using the same “identity” I’ve used for years, here and elsewhere, and have no fear of any harassment or being vastly outnumbered.

            “People should be able to voice their views freely, without being harassed by others!”

          • Bill Collins

            Bill likes this.x

        • Paul_Sp

          You “like” your own post?

          I think I need to apologize to you for assuming you have the intellect and maturity to have the dialogue with someone who doesn’t agree with you as I had hoped.

          And I see a few of your comments got deleted, aw, tsk, tsk……

          • Bill Collins

            Bill likes this….

          • Bill Collins

            Apology accepted. You really are a sweet man, Paul.

      • Bill Collins

        The stats are “exceptions” not the norm. I’ve researched.

        I post all the time on my attraction to females and porn I don’t march around my home or workplace, because that’s inappropriate, and is certainly not proof of my affiliation to my Porn Industry

        • Paul_Sp

          You may be correct on these stats. I haven’t researched enough to challenge that one.

          Attraction to females and porn are not the same thing at all.

          Inappropriate?! Says who?

          When I was worked in surgery many years back, I remember a surgeon telling me, sort of as an after thought in a convo, “You know that even among physicians who aren’t morally against abortion, it’s seen as dirty work, right? Almost everyone wants to steer the hell away from it.”

          No, you don’t announce it or your porn exploits likely at home or definitely at work because you know good and well it won’t be well received, doesn’t hit others as morally neutral (by and large), may be seen as someone who is too unrestrained regarding sex. So it stays your “dirty” little secret.
          (Not to everyone, but to too many for you to risk it.)

          (Odd to “like” your own posts….)

          • Bill Collins

            Again, no shame, so I don’t think of it as “my dirty secret” I think of it as something that might cause embarrassment for them, so I don’t bring it up It does come up from time to time, and I let the passive one control the convo, whether its me or them.

            I really don’t think about how others view me, since they all view me as the most awesome person they know. Not really, but I’m very popular in my circle, and most if not all, think of me as super charming and a family man, not a porn purveyor. Doesn’t mean I won’t discuss it, if necessary. I had a Maxim on my desk at work for a long time, and didn’t think too hard about it.

            This is my image (see picture) out in the real world (I’m the man, no this isn’t an actual photo of me.)

            The ladies dig me.

          • Paul_Sp

            To clarify: I didn’t for a second think that YOU feel it is dirty at all. But that others may think it is.
            Why would it cause embarrassment for them or anyone?
            I think you want to portray that porn is (or should be) as much an issue for anyone as baseball or reading, YOU see it pretty much as blase’, a yawn, but you don’t have the intestinal fortitude to promote this attitude to those around you. You want to have your cake and eat it too.

            This isn’t my first rodeo with someone who espouses what you do regarding porn, yet to date, no one has told me they verbally espouse it to those around them, who they see often. I’m thinking typically of husbands and fathers, say 30 or older, not a single 21 yr old who only works and lives around others his age.

            This would at least show you “put your money where your mouth is” regarding the no shame, no guilt, don’t keep it a secret thing.

            Let them know you as a porn purveyor too. Not only as that of course, but be honest, not a poser.

            You even said you don’t really think about (care about?) how others view you.

            If I had your views, I’d want to help porn be more accepted and less scorned.

    • rasseng

      I don’t watch porn “all the time” but have from time to time. I think curiosity is part of the attraction. It’s like you can’t believe people are doing this on camera and in front of a lot of crew. I really think that the things listed in this article are ridiculously stereotyped and generalizations too. It’s not the porn, but the individual who is watching that could be a problem. Morality is very subjective, and there is a lot of immorality going on in our society, that doesn’t have to do with porn. It’s like guns and gun control. It’s not the gun that is the problem, it’s the mentality of the person with the gun. I definitely do not agree that porn supports or is any way related to porn. Of course there are probably those out there that are involved in trafficking that make porn with the victims they kidnap and abuse, but that is not related to the mainstream porn industry. If women can have the freedom of abortion, because they can choose to do what they want with their bodies, then porn falls into that realm too. Young people are exposed to a lot of immoral things today, hell Mtv is a totally immoral TV network, and a lot of TV allowed today is very immoral for our children. That’s when good parenting comes into play! Pay attention to your kids, monitor the content they are exposed to and teach them some morals, I did with mine. Anything can be addictive and have negative repercussions, but its really the individual that dictates that, not the item they are partaking in, whether its movies, TV, music, guns, etc., etc.

      I used to look at it occasionally when I was young, but not really interested now.

      • BJ_Foster

        Using the logic that morality is subjective makes calling anything immoral meaningless. Doesn’t it?

        • rasseng

          Are you serious? Morality definitely is subjective. You views might not coincide with someone elses. That said, I believe that most would consider porn immoral Then again, you can’t force your views on everybody!

          • BJ_Foster

            I am serious. If everyone determines for them self what
            is moral and immoral then there’s no point to this discussion. You say MTV is
            immoral while MTV programmers think it’s very moral. Who’s right? 200 years ago
            most people thought slavery was ok. Does that make it right? Well, they decided
            that it was moral for them and if morality is subjective then you have no
            footing to tell them they are wrong. Is what ISIS is doing immoral? As a
            culture they have determined that it’s moral to throw homosexuals off buildings,
            behead Christians, and kill children. Who’s right? Does it make it ok for them
            to do that? If morality is subjective then the answer is yes and we have no
            right to hold them accountable.

          • rasseng

            Don’t be a Stupid Ignorant Ass. Don’t compare murder with Mtv or porn, or try to correlate behaviors hundreds of years ago, with today. Obviously we evolved as a people and realized slavery was bad. Not everyone agreed it was immoral, ever hear of the Civil War. There are some today that still think it was OK. Recently the Supreme Court ruled that gay marriage was OK. This ruling was against the views of many, if not, most Americans moral judgement. Of course everyone determines what they personally believe is moral or immoral, and there is no way to force people to think just one way. Look at abortion, gay marriage, prostitution, etc. Obviously we all as human beings, do agree on certain immoral behaviors, like murder. We still believe that adultery, pedophilia, and many other things, for the most part, are immoral, but there are even some who try to argue about those behaviors, and disagree. We use to think that divorce was immoral, and a divorcee was a marked woman, loose and easy, etc. But that is widely accepted now. I personally think that being a porn actor/actress is immoral. I really can’t imagine someone doing that as a profession. But, I’m not going to try to tell everyone else they have to agree with me. For the most part, I believe porn is a harmless taboo that most people have experienced in their lives (watching) and that it is mostly harmless in general. It’s the few who watch it, that have issues, that are the problem.

          • BJ_Foster

            There’s no reason to resort to name calling. We are having a discussion. I just happen to believe that there are moral absolutes. Either MTV is moral or immoral, not both. One side is right and one side is wrong. Disagreeing about what those moral absolutes are is not the same as morality being subjective. You believe that morality is subjective and that there are no moral absolutes. So you call MTV immoral, the programmers at MTV call it moral. Who’s right? If you believe morality is subjective then both of you are right. It’s moral because they have determined that and it is immoral because you have determined that. There’s no definitive answer. You gave a long list of moral issues that people disagree about. Who’s right? According to moral relativism, everyone is. Or maybe the majority is or the Supreme Court. This is what I hear you saying. That it depends on the point of view of each person whether those things are moral or immoral. Did I misunderstand your point of view? If that is your claim then it ends up being a free for all.

      • Paul_Sp

        Appreciate your explanation here. Yes, there are many things that can be called immoral besides porn. Our opinions boil down to what each of us thinks is right and wrong in the end.
        I do think porn in and of itself is immoral. I mean, what’s the point of it?
        If it isn’t about sex and lust in some way, then what is it? Not saying sex is immoral, but it isn’t seen as an activity without some boundaries, boundaries that many other public human activities don’t have.
        Totally agree with your points about good involved parenting.
        Though for me, if I had no issues with porn, I certainly wouldn’t teach my kids that there are any concerns over it, or suggest it’s immoral whatsoever.

      • Bill Collins

        I agree, that’s why I ignore the mentions of “trafficking” leading to porn, etc. I watch basic vanilla porn, I don’t like any strong varieties, and I love certain ethnicity, and nationalities, that’s about it. I don’t get into the violent or any other types.

        I did listen to and agree with the dopamine comments, in the videos above I’m sure that is probably fairly accurate. But the whole, you click and it leads to online prostitution, is malarky and exaggerated at best, full out lying to push forth your agenda, at worst. So which is it: dummy or liar? You pick.

        Feminism, and woman’s rights, have helped the porn industry. Viagra has played a big part. And online access, has probably been the biggest boost! I do agree that certain females see porn online, perhaps at a young age, and wanna get up on the screen, and experience that “fun stuff” they see. Probably not the best thing. But let me ask you? Why do they keep returning for more and more? Why are you assuming embarrassment? Why do they leave the industry, and then return years later, as MILFs?

        Why do women translate their later careers into directors/consultants/behind the scenes? Please explain to me this?

        I know all those episodes of Loveboat and Three’s Company, that featured the young, hot female, subplot story of posing for Playboy, then running all around on the “aloha deck” trying to snap up all the ship copies of the magazine, make for good TV drama, but in reality, these models are proud of what they do, for the most part, and are excited to be in the business. They keep coming back for more!

        Again, stop using the extreme example, as an example of how the Majority is. It’s not. Just stop.

        I can’t wait to see everyone’s response to this post.

  • it’s not so bad.

    • Paul_Sp

      If you’ve truly convinced yourself of that, I hope you’re consistent enough that you would tell your daughter or son that if they had the opportunity to pursue it as a career.

      • Bill Collins

        There you go again, being a little troll, hiding behind your anonymous profile. I bet you are so proud of yourself. I respect you less than the men and women who are not afraid to be themselves online, posing, acting and performing in Adult Entertainment.

        No #INTERNETSHAMING

        Justice for Justine Sacco

        https://www.ted.com/talks/jon_ronson_what_happens_when_online_shaming_spirals_out_of_control?language=en

        • Paul_Sp

          There you go again, resorting to adolescent name-calling, as I use the same profile I’ve used for years everywhere I comment on the internet.

          I couldn’t care less how much you respect me, and I have no doubt you appreciate those that titillate your sexual urges very much.

          My comments and questions back to you are dead serious. Had hope you’d answer them, but if you’d rather deflect and avoid…….

          • Bill Collins

            Bill Collins likes this.

          • Bill Collins

            Bill C likes this as does Paul.

          • Paul_Sp

            Dude, you should back away from the porn.
            It’s hurting your intellect!

          • Bill Collins

            Paul likes this? Porn?

      • Bill Collins

        Suze And Holly Randall Are Mother & Daughter Erotic Photographers
        I prefer not to post the link here, but feel free to check it out. A mother introduced her daughter to the career of erotic photography. Very nice and loving legacy career she is giving to her daughter.
        Paul, I think you are speaking from emotion, and not proper research.

        • Paul_Sp

          Not interested in any porn. We’ll disagree on that being a nice and loving legacy. Perhaps you can do the same with any of your kids or kids you have influence over.
          Research? Tons of it in many directions on most subjects.
          I was speaking from a position of right and wrong.

          Sure wish you’d answer my questions from my previous replies.

      • Bill Collins

        Suze Randall and Holly Randall (her daughter) made a great career out of erotic photography, and I believe Holly has gone on to video erotic video, with full porn scenes. I think Suze (a woman, and one of the first Penthouse photographers, who was female) retired after a long career as an exotic photographer and videographer.

        Their work features gorgeous females, in seductive poses. Funny how women are the ones doing this? Isn’t it?

        You make snarky comments, and I give you a perfect example of what you offered up sarcastically, then act as if I’m not replying to you.

        Trolls come in all shapes and sizes. You seem to be different, and not a true troll, but I associate it with those who don’t fully identify them selves in social media and are argumentative in tone. Your very first “response” to me was challenging and argumentative Not that it bothers me too much, but I mention it to make my point clear, right from the start.

        I don’t tolerate trollish behavior, and will turn on my ignore switch if necessary.

        • Paul_Sp

          What difference does the gender of those making porn make? None to me.

          “Snarky”? How sensitive are you?! Toughen up a little!
          I’m “sarcastic, argumentative, and trollish”?
          That’s just horrible!!!
          And you don’t tolerate that!
          Sorry I didn’t ask your permission or seek your rules on how I should talk to you here.

          Just keep deflecting and avoiding the questions I asked you earlier, though you’re pretty obvious at it.

          • Bill Collins

            Its okay if it doesn’t make a difference to you, but the point of the videos above is that a “female” in the video is embarrassed and unable to fix that, because she’s stuck in the video. Holly has posed for some pictures and videos, yet chose to return and make it a career. The whole scenario runs counter to any explanation of “embarrassment, shame, etc” of playing a part in the industry.

            I am not bothered by snarky, but when I determine you are snarky, I don’t respond positively, there’s a difference, trust me.

            Nor do I need to seek your rules, when I ignore snark That’s my rules, not yours.

            I don’t know what questions I haven’t answered, but I’ll look back and try to respond. I didn’t realize it was gonna be that much of a sore point for you.

          • Paul_Sp

            Oh that. I’m sure the attitudes of the women involved run the gamut.
            More telling to me though would be how open they, or the men for that matter, are to everyone in their worlds that that is what they do for a living.

            Your second paragraph here seems contradictory.

            I’ve been in discussions/debates over many topics online, some with people who are very attacking, lots of profanity, arrogant as all get out, very denigrating and sarcastic,……I’m pretty tame and respectful.

            You can ignore, do whatever you want.
            I’m just surprised you find my words rising to a level of any offense at all. Hard to believe.

            Would be nice if you could answer things asked. Wasn’t a lot.

      • Bill Collins

        I’ll discuss career opportunities with my kids as they get older. If the topic of sex careers comes up, I’ll be happy to discuss with them. I won’t deflect a career for my kids, if they want to go into the industry, I’ll support and love them, like my own kids (because they are.)

        • Paul_Sp

          Appreciate your consistency.
          You may want to consider encouraging this career as your admiration for those in it is clear.

  • Jason Wagner

    *Post may be considered graphic by some*

    I struggle with porn. Especially when my wife is away on business or working late for long stretches. For me, it’s a visual thing. Not so much the actresses faces, but the boobs, the bouncing, the money shot (mainly the internal variety), and the deep throat. I’d like to say I can watch and it has no effect with my sex life with my wife, but that would be a lie.

    You would think if she’s been gone for 3 or 4 days and I’ve had zero contact with her, our first time having sex after she gets back would be over in a minute or two. Unfortunately, when she is gone, and I give into the struggle, the exact opposite is true. It sometimes, and more than I’d like to admit, gets to a point I can barely finish.

    That can, and has, lead to some hard conversations. Have I lost my desire for her? (that I haven’t seen her and can’t get aroused enough to finish). Is there something wrong with her? Did she not do something? Do I still find her attractive? Ami having an affair? Do I still love her?

    Truth of the matter is I haven’t lost my desire for her at all, but in watching porn, I’ve lost some of the anticipation that naturally come with her being gone. If I’m watching porn, you know damn well I’m taking care of business as well, and that ends up taking some of the desire along with it.

    I know that this isn’t the case for everybody, but it’s good enough reason to avoid it, in my opinion, to stay away from any potential questions of faithfulness and love.

    Another thing that porn does, and heavily for me, is it creates false expectations. Like I said in the beginning, when I give in, I gravitate towards big boobs and deep throats. Big boobs, my wife was blessed naturally with, so yay me on that. But to go along with those, she was also given an incredibly shallow gag reflex. So, not only is there ANY deep throat going on, but when she does go orally, it’s not for very long, typically because she ends up gagging almost to a point of throwing up. So, what does porn do to me for this? It hasn’t, but it very well could lead to me searching else where for what porn makes me think my wife should be able to do. Truth is, not a whole lot of women could ever meet the D.T. Expectations that porn sets. And it’s really not fair to my wife to expect that from her.

    Expectations don’t stop there either. Positions, anal, fake boobs, butt implants, penis enhancement, dirty talk, all of these things are to keep us watching, but how many of them cause us to look at our wife or even ourselves as not being good enough?

    I hate my struggle with porn. And though I stumble sometimes, and I, with some divine assistance, do pretty good staying away from it. And our sex life is all the better for it.

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Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Have you ever been in a dangerous situation that could have been avoided?”

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