how to talk to my kid about porn

3 Angles to Use When Talking to Your Kid About Porn

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Last year, during my son’s football season, we played a team that couldn’t stop our offense. Every run play was successful, especially if our runners could get to the sideline. The coaches on the other team were getting frustrated with their players as we just kept running the ball. The reason we were successful is because the defenders were not making good pursuit angles. Instead of trying to get in front of the running backs, they would sprint straight at them only to find themselves chasing behind.

Coaching our players to take good angles is key to any successful defense. In the same way, when I think about how to talk to my kid about porn, I try to remember a couple things. First, it’s not a one-and-done conversation and second, sometimes we must adjust the angles we approach the conversation with. We all know the dangers and statistics surrounding pornography and why we must protect our kids from it—but that won’t happen if we don’t talk about it. Here are 3 angles to use when talking to your kid about porn.

1. Friends

One of the easiest angles to take with your kids is to ask about their friends. I often ask my son if his friends are talking about porn at school, or if they ever have things on their phones that they try to show him. For the most part, my kids will easily talk about their friends and share openly what they are doing. Leverage this angle to talk with them about boundaries and what they should do if it ever comes up in their friend group.

2. Your Own Experience

Sharing your own experience or struggle can really help your kids see the need for protecting themselves.

This angle works well with older kids if trust is established. Sharing your own experience or struggle can really help your kids see the need for protecting themselves. If your kids are struggling with porn, this angle can bring in a new level of support knowing that Dad is fighting with them and they are not alone. Sharing your own experience needs to be age-appropriate as you can plant seeds in their minds if you share too much too soon.

3. Activity

Plan an activity with your kid and be intentional with your conversations. This angle can be a powerful way to get your kids to open up and talk. A quick fishing trip not only gives you time in the car to chat, but it also gives you a shared experience together. Be careful not to use this angle at the same place every time because your kid will think Dad wants to talk about porn every time you go fishing.

Sound off: What angles have worked for you when talking to your kids about porn?

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “Have your friends ever talked about porn?”