flirting games

The Slippery Slope of Flirtation

Flirting games ring about as harmless in our minds as do reindeer games. The modern definition of flirting is best found in the Urban Dictionary which reads, “A person who is innocently overly friendly, especially the type of friendliness that is interpreted as seduction.” We encounter natural attractions for whatever reason all the time. It’s a complete mystery as to the why one person is attracted to another and the initial attraction is not something we can control. After that initial reaction, however, we certainly can control what happens next.

This is a difficult message to write because we do not need to make mountains out of molehills. Yet, flirting is exactly where cheating begins, so it would be highly irresponsible of us as men not to take a strong look at it. This is an era where apps like Tinder make “hooking up” way too easy, and 32 million married people were recently exposed by hackers as users of the married hookup site, Ashley Madison. That’s an enormous figure. All Pro Dad strives to strengthen families and marriages. Flirting outside of your relationship is a slippery slope that will lead nowhere safe for the future of your family. [Tweet This] Let’s take a look at the reasons, actions, and ramifications of flirting.

Why Do Taken Men Flirt?

The common justifications are to blame it all on your partner. “She doesn’t give me enough attention,” or “She isn’t affectionate enough for me.” Maybe she slacked off laughing at all the silly jokes over time. But the real reason is…the male ego is mighty and it wants to be fed. I testify to this humbly and honestly, that I have the capacity for an ego as large as the Great Lakes. I like it when the opposite sex shows me attention in that kind of way because it validates something deep inside my DNA. As a young married man, a few times, this got me into situations that were hurtful to my equally young wife. As a maturing married man, it nailed me once again as sort of a last gasp: Am I still desirable at this point or have I passed my prime? Ego can get us into a hot mess in a hurry. I’m a man of deep faith, and God directly intervened with me on this. It was impressed that I had been provided a tremendous gift in my wife and she would be all I ever need in all ways. It truly saved me from destruction.

Where are the Dangers?

This is now a digital world, and the ability to flirt has been infinitely expounded. There is something for every taste and if you go looking, you’ll surely find. Even if you aren’t looking, it may find you, especially on social media formats. Tread carefully. Social media is equally as powerful when designated for good, but we must diligent in creating boundaries to protect our families and marriages. If you have any doubt at all about what you’re doing, get out.

Ramifications and Solutions.

The most serious ramification of habitual flirting is that your relationship deteriorates each time. The foundation gets cracked and falls to pieces. This is emotional betrayal and few things are as damaging to our wives. Loyalty means everything to a woman. When they feel it slipping away, and they always do, they will withdraw emotionally from you as well. That’s like introducing a deadly disease to the bloodstream of marriage. The toughest, most rugged and manly thing we can do is simply pray and stop doing it. All of us, including our egos, are to be placed solely in her trust and care.

Sound Off

What are some of the ramifications of flirting that you have experienced?

  • Paul_Sp

    Hmmm, seems much of the concern and warnings are tied back to how flirting erodes your relationship with your wife or girlfriend.
    But some of us don’t have a wife or girlfriend, and a women we may flirt with may be unattached as well.

    Wonder how this article would be written if addressed to us. Am I to infer flirting is fine for me with an unattached woman?

    • Gary Abernathy

      Flirt away as long as you are both single 🙂

      • Paul_Sp

        Nope, can’t agree that just being single, and I am, makes it automatically OK.
        Depends on how flirting is defined and several other concerns.

        • Gary Abernathy

          I was being light hearted. If two single people like each other they are naturally going to show that. Outside of arranged marriages, that’s how romance blossoms. Do you have anyone in particular that interests you currently?

          • Paul_Sp

            Ahhh, so you were thinking flirting that leads to a committed exclusive relationship?
            I was not, so it sounded like you blessed me flirting with any single women I want to.

          • Gary Abernathy

            Of course. Don’t compromise your moral foundation.

  • CJ

    Or the ramifications if you wife is the one who is flirting with other men and when you confront her, she says that you are being jealous and that it is your fears and insecurities. But when even your guy friends also say she is flirty and you then realize that she has had an emotional affair with a guy in your church, then the S$%T hits the fan. Yes, it is a slippery slope and, if our marriage is able to survive after 21 years, then stronger boundaries need to be set in place and how your wife interacts with men needs to be addressed with ZERO excuses as to what she thinks is jealousy, fears and insecurity.

    Marriage is way to important to allow even a sliver of a crack for the enemy to gain a foothold and destroy!

    • Gary Abernathy

      I’m the writer of the article. Thank you for openly sharing. You’re absolutely correct, and it does work both ways. We are writing to men so I geared it towards looking at our own behavior, but on iMom they cover the same ground. Your example is a great testimony to where the slippery slope can lead, for either partner. I pray that you both can reconcile the issue.

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Huddle up with trusted friends and make a pact to stop flirting outside of your relationships.

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