5 Mistakes Husbands Make With Other Women

My wife and I moved to a new city after we got married. We didn’t know many people there, so naturally, I started to spark relationships with people at my new job. I was a TV reporter and worked with attractive people, including a tall, pretty woman on weekends. She was fun to chat with and I got to be very friendly with her. Even though nothing inappropriate was going on, that work relationship looked a little suspicious to my wife.

This coworker and I never saw each other outside of work, but I would communicate with her frequently through Facebook or text. I was just trying to be friendly with someone in a new city. I was fully committed to my wife, but my behavior made her feel insecure. I was wrong. I was flirty and had no idea. Here are 5 mistakes husbands make with other women.

1. Getting Too Close

It’s not inherently wrong to have opposite sex friendships in marriage, but you need to tread carefully around women who aren’t your wife. Getting too close or spending unnecessary time with them, especially alone, makes it look like you desire that woman’s attention and, in some cases, affection. You may just be trying to be friendly, but your wife, and others, may not see it this way.

2. Sharing Too Much

Frustrated? Elated? Our wives should be first to know. God gave us wives to be partners. When we share intimately with someone other than our wife, we give away access to parts of ourselves that should be reserved for her alone. This is the first trickle toward giving away your heart. Sharing too much with other women is a slippery slope that sometimes results in infidelity. When you spend time with someone, it will be tempting to share personal information. Before you know it, those little confessions bloom into opportunities to give away deep emotions.

3. Spending Time Alone

When I was dating my wife in college, I made a huge blunder. An old high school girlfriend asked me to hang out during spring break. I foolishly decided to visit her instead of going to the Florida Keys with the woman who would become my wife. As you can imagine, that didn’t go over well. To my eventual wife, I looked undecided, and that hurt her, the person I cared for most. I quickly realized my mistake, but it took a while to repair the damage. This was just a dating example. Imagine if I’d done this while married! Even appearing to be undecided can cause a giant mess.

4. Sending Mixed Signals

Commitment means professing allegiance to someone no matter what. When you’re married, it’s hard to appear committed when you are getting extra friendly with another woman. Since nobody can read your mind, nobody knows if you’re doing things like touching her arm, complimenting her, or going out of your way to interact with her simply to be polite or because you are interested in her romantically. Commitment is routinely listed as a woman’s top priority in a marriage. There is a fine line between being friendly and flirty, and we need to recognize it for our wife’s sake. Be careful tiptoeing that line with opposite sex friendships in marriage.

5. Giving Others Priority

Our wives should get our best. They should get our best effort, our best time, our best everything. Opposite sex friendships in marriage can muddy the waters. This doesn’t mean we shouldn’t help women who didn’t take our last name. It means they should not come before our wives. When we start putting the needs of other women, including bosses, ahead of our wives, we are unintentionally putting our wives and our marriages on the backburner. Guard your marriage and prioritize it over other relationships.

Sound off: When have you gotten too friendly with someone other than your wife?

Huddle up with your kids and ask, “What is one mistake you’ve made, and what did you learn from it?”