As the credits began to roll, my wife looked at me and said, “Do you realize we’re doing the same thing every night?” Looking across the couch at her, I realized she was right. I’d get home from work, we’d eat, clean up, put the kids to bed, and clean up some more. Then we’d watch a couple episodes of some show. We were in a rut, and she saw that something needed to change.
When married life is feeling monotonous, a couple needs to do something to make things better. Both of you need make time to invest in your marriage. If you feel like your marriage is in a rut, here are 5 strategies for reconnecting with your wife.
1. Go on a gift card date night.
If finances are tight, check your wallets and drawers for gift cards. Let whatever you find decide what you’ll do together. Go out and use whatever you’ve got. It doesn’t matter if it’s a coffee, a meal, a pack of diapers, or a scented candle; the key is just to take the opportunity to go out and do something together.
2. Take a day off together.
If the issue is that life is too busy, get creative in making time for one another. Book a day off from work and call in a babysitter if your kids aren’t in school so you can spend a day doing something you love together. It doesn’t matter if you’re hiking, at an amusement park, at a mall, or doing some other thing you love. The key is to carve out a space you can spend quality time together on a day you would have been busy with school, work, and/or kids.
3. Celebrate something random.
It might be that you’re just looking for an excuse to spend time together. Sometimes work and life schedules mean you miss out on the ordinary birthdays and anniversaries a couple will celebrate. Find something random to celebrate with your wife, and make it up if you have to! You might celebrate an accomplishment at home or at work, a half birthday or anniversary, or even the day your favorite movie was released.
4. Attend a “For Us” marriage date night.
If the issue goes beyond money, time, and creativity, you might need to reach out for extra help. Ted Lowe, one of the other writers here at All Pro Dad, hosts For Us Marriage conferences and date nights across the country. If he’s speaking in your area this year, book the night so you and your bride can go. The opportunity to hear his message and spend the evening with other couples who want to reconnect as well is sure to rub off on you.
5. Go on a marriage conference or retreat.
If you can’t get to a For Us event, there are lots of other places you can find help and inspiration. Many organizations host weekend retreats and conferences for married couples to get away and renew their marriage. Check if your church or community is hosting something like this, and book it. A marriage conference or retreat is an opportunity to check in and work on those aspects of your marriage that might be struggling.
Sound off: Reconnecting with your wife is essential for your marriage. What are some things we could add to this list?
Huddle up with your wife and ask, “What are some of your favorite dates we’ve had together?”